a day at the beach

don't let this fool you: this photo is not a fair representation of my mood on the first day i've ever spent on the beach. i don't even remember smiling, so my dad may have altered this shot somehow. what i do remember is pooping on my aunt nancy. tell me: what mood would you be in if you were having stomach problems and, instead of staying in your dry hotel room, your "parents" put some special diaper on you, wrapped tight-fitting bikini bottoms over it and then dangled you in crashing waves that were half the height of your body, causing you to soil yourself in a diaper that was already soaking wet, not to mention mildly sand-filled? oh, what, you don't believe me? well, scroll down, under the fake photo of me smiling.




aha! exhibit a! i would call that "dangling," wouldn't you? and do i look like i'm having "fun"? no! i look terrified! but, hey, my mom looks like she's having a blast, doesn't she? it's too bad i pooped on my aunt nancy, instead of the intended target. oh well, collateral damage.