what i learned today

today, i learned that my dad is really lazy. i was hungry, so he just tossed a bottle of milk on the floor and made me grovel for it! then he stuffed a burp rag under the bottle to keep it propped up, in case my tiny, underdeveloped hands lost their tenuous grip on its slippery surface. and then he said, "see ya later, kid," and he left! no, just kidding. actually, i don't know what he was doing, because he pointed me toward the wall.

in any case, i learned that, if i had to feed myself, this is how to do it, assuming there were milk-filled bottles just lying about on the ground and i wouldn't have to get the formula out of the cabinet, open the can, pour it in the bottle and screw the nipple on, all by myself.





i'm not sure what's going on here. i was be-boppin' and scattin', trying to mix it up. technically, it still works this way, because i can get some of the milk out, but it's not ideal. and once you're in this position, the natural progression is to ...






... this one, which just doesn't work at all. i'm not sure what i was thinking here. actually, you know what? i wasn't thinking. i get it now: "nipple" does not equal "straw"! who knew the learning curve on these bottles was so steep? man, talk about frustrating. i won't do that again. oh, who am i kidding? i probably will.