i celebrated my birthday late this year because i'm not smart enough to know what a birthday is yet. but even though i wouldn't have been any the wiser with no presents, that didn't stop mom from insisting on spending a lot of money on me! here's the tricycle they got me. it comes with a handle in back that mom and dad can use to steer me, because my short legs can't reach the pedals.
here's the backpack and candy my uncle oliver got me. he also gave me a toy cell phone. i like to put my candy in my tiny backpack, hop on my trike that i can't pedal and talk to nonexistent people on my fake cell phone.
how do 1-year-olds celebrate their birthday? in their sad little high chair that mom and dad half-heartedly decorate with some crepe paper and a balloon, with a party hat that's so big it kind of resembles a dunce cap, and a cake that dad picked because it's his favorite flavor. oh, also, the cake said, "HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY MAILER," before dad made them change it. sigh.
a week later, what do i still play with? my half-deflated mylar balloon.
