guest editor: chopper the dog

hi, this is chopper the dog, and all i have to say is: finally. it has taken nearly a year, but the tiny human has figured out what my so-called "owners" haven't deduced in seven years: i'm under this godforsaken table for a reason. last night, the human puppy began dropping her torus-shaped food on the ground, presumably for me. she seemed delighted. as was i, my little mistress, as was i.