food criticism

early on, my palate was unsophisticated. i barely distinguished between mother's milk and formula, nor did i much care. if it came in a bottle, then i was beholden to its lactic allure, despite the fact that the rainbow of my culinary knowledge ranged from alabaster to ecru.

then i was introduced to the edible grayness of rice cereal, finally awakening my infantile taste buds from their dormant state! alas, i was unimpressed, and i made sure my mom and dad were aware of this via visual representations of my distaste, as i have yet to develop any sort of understandable vocal communication. a sampling of my more notable reviews:


rice cereal: ugh. offensive.

i said i didn't like rice cereal!


carrots: surprisingly palatable, orange.